What a shitty day, hindsight ain't 20/20 it's funny.
All events are absolutely true than a mofo and I've changed original names to *bitch* or *nigga* as to recognize the idiots!
Woke up 1/2 hour later than is reasonable timewise for me to get out the house with doing the i'm-fuggin-late jig.
Voila. Go to the shower and NADA. NO h20 which is quite necessary to wash the cracks and crevices let alone get the crown right. The fuggin water pump to the house aint working. Yeah water pump to a fuggin well. Oh don't it feel like we living Laura Ingalls stylee.
So Im using cold ass water from the jug I keep in the fridge half ass nuked to almost luke warm temp. to wash up.
Running 20 minutes late by this point and Pops who I woke up to fix the water problem keeps talkin to me like a grrrrrl dont gotta be at work in 10 minutes (1/2 hr commute).
So I manage to get out the house feelin half cleaned...ilk. The car is almost on empty but I think I can get to work. NOT! My intuition tells me to pull over to gas station. So I pull up to the pump and the fuggin car is SMOKIN!!! I open the hood and there is anti freeze spewin all over the place and there doesnt seem to be jackshit in the radiator. This is a problem with a car with minor over heating problems lately. My stupid ass the evening before, thinking I'm being a responsible car owner, tapped off the fluids but FAILED to put the cap on the radiator well properly. Thank God it was still sitting there under the hood.
Soooo I begin to walk into the gas station to get some more antifreeze (that green shit) in the gas station...
Within 5 steps I trip ON MY FACE RIGHT in front of a van with A STOOPID JACKASS RUNNING HIS MOUTH not looking in front of him. THE CAR STARTS ROLLING as I'm laid out on the ground trying to shake the shock off, this nigga is about 6 inches from running me over, isn't listening to me screaming STOP nor the other people that are telling him to look at what he's doing, cuz this cuntry fuck is sooo busy talkin a buch of nothing. I remember thinking as I was on the ground..."Oh hells naw I'm from New York there aint no way I'm getting run over by this jackass at like 2 mph." So a surge of "this-is-some-action-movie-shit" comes over me and I so I roll over as to not get ROLLED OVER. If I had a gun I would cocked it after the roll and shot that niggas tires out! BUT classic fuggg'd up day stylee...I ROLL RIGHT IN A FUCKIN NASTY ASS GAS STATION PUDDLE OF GOD KNOWS WHAT! Yes while in dress'd for the plantation in slacks, purrty blouse and strappy scandals. I thought to throw my shoes at his ass when he was driving off. Thank God most of my ensemble was black. Anywhoo, I went to check my phone cuz you know there was no time to snatch up the pocketbook and that prick rolled over it. No damage done. I pulled it together and I shook off my shock, proceeded to walk into the gas station for that green shit I need to get the car riding properly.
Then the bitch in the gas station tried to tell me my credit card wasnt working...
I SAID FUCK YOU WE'LL BE HERE ALL DAY RUN THAT SHIT 20 TIMES IF YOU HAVE TO...it went through after 5 minutes of her stupidity.
Then I gotta MIX FUCKIN 50/50 antifreeze in my gatdamn work clothes. WTF!
And now I gotta sit in the office until I go to the Doctor.
YEAH - "WOMAN UP!" some one said in a forum that day...WORD!
I go to lunch...AND WHY IS 1/3 of my paycheck missing out of my account????? I check my account when I get back to the plantation and the FUCKIN DEATHTRAP GAS STATION done put an obscene charge on my account OUTSIDE of the charges I ligitimately made. OH BWOY I call customer service and get to talk to INDIA!!! Oh lawd these bafoons! I hate thos outsourced customer service numbers, shit I want to talk to someone in my country gatdamnit!! No offence to india...fug that FUCK CURRY EATIN' INDIA AND THEIR MANGOS AND CHUTNEY! Of course they are blaming it on the gas station and the gas station is blaming it on my bank. By this time I'm considering really purchasing a firearm. I think people would be lot more reasonable if I just start talking to them with a gat in my hand! (I'm still fighting to get the funds released.
edit: it took a whole fuggin week.)
So I get to the doctors...wait for an hour for this muthafugga to tell me that he just wants to talk to me. Dr. Honkey (Please forgive me my caucasian folks he deserved this title on this particular thus I will not censor my sentiments), DONT YOU KNOW HOW TO USE A PHONE FOR THAT SHIT. YOUR NOT CHECKIN MA SHIT OUT? (No there ain't nothing wrong its my bi-monthy check up.) No dis on white folks but this asshole got the HONKEY title today cause now this fugger is telling me he wants me to go to a specialist cause he fells that a specialist could monitor my progress better. Dr. Honkey IVE BEEN SEEING YO ASS FOR 7 MONTHS!!!!!! DID I NOT ASK YOU THIS WHEN I STARTED SEEING YO ASS??? AND TODAY YOU WANNA TELL ME THIS SHIT???? WTF? Whatever I roll with it. He's ike hold on I'm calling your new Doctor and will set up your appointment just wait 10 minutes.
10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes, 25 minutes...NOW IM WISHING I HAD A 22 in my purse so I could start walking the doctors halls waving it. Now this man-nurse comes back like I'm having issues we'll call you. 3 fucking docked-pay hours WASTED!
So I proceed to try and find a spot I can sit down and collect my thoughts behind a cold beer in MY RINKY DINK TOWN. The ONE spot I can go to is closed til 5pm...at that point it's 4:30.
I START TO THINK - IT'S TIME TO MOVE BEFORE I BECOME A GUN TOTIN, TRIGGA HAPPY CERTIFIED NUT!
That was my day. Only to come to find Mercury is in retrograde. I SHOULDA FUGGIN KNOWN!
bubblefug.sucks
