Opinionated...who?
So I've sat here thinking about some things I've read and been told by folks. Everybody has their opinion to so easily share. In addressing my feelings about some opinions expressed I've digested, I've been forced to follow my habit of looking in the mirror for that which agitates or alters my mode of attitude negatively. This has been necessary with all the opinions flying over my head.
A boss who became friends with my mother (yeah go figure) told her once that I was quite opinionated. I thought this was interesting since I had said little during my time at this particular gig. I never could figure how she could come to that conclusion about me in the very little time I had known her. I can't say I disagreed but most definitely, I was perplexed. Thinking back I really didn't know wtf she was talking about...me opinionated? WTF everrrrrrrrr.
So I've been trying to figure this opinionated shit out. First because of some conversations with family and friends that in the midst of, I am stupefied at the energy that is released by others opinions in different ways. Sometimes positive and others negative. I'm just gonna address the negative ways.
I really believe that everyone has the right to believe what they wanna. As individuals we have the right to feel how we wanna in regards to what others believe. I don't think its right to insinuate clearly or forcefully that what someone else believes, lives by or however they carry on strangely is incorrect or right...for them. Shit if it works for them...I say, carry on strangely. But I see this becomes an issue in some modes of discourse. For instance, I can't stand having intellectual dialogues with my father. He does not know how to agree to disagree (of which I think is an essential courtesy when you are having a conversation which explores the opinions of those who are having the conversation). Yeah, my pops is excellent at trying to shove his truth down your throat. He does this by so rudely talking over you while your expressing your thoughts. He does this by
telling you that your wrong. He does this with a skillful barrage of questions perfectly created to undermine and disolve your idea, an end result I believe is the hope that they will convert you to their point of view. Yeah, there is challenge in voicing your opinion but then there is just straight rudeness...what is this? OPINIONATED! There is an adverse reaction on my part. It doesn't make me change my mind. But, when another ideology is not taken into consideration, then it becomes a dead conversation, because I know for me, my participation becomes diluted and virtually nonexistent.
There are also the opinions of others, that they know, as they state them, are meant to hurt. They are straight attacks on your feelings. These are particular to friends, I have found. Now, know as I explain these particulars, know that I've realized them because I have found these very behaviors (perhaps at a different degree) within myself. Thus, I see them clearly for what they are and take full responsibility for my carrying them out at some point in life or another. So, anywhooo...as I was saying...there are some that feel it necessary to vocalize their opinion in a manner that is to be purposely offensive and possibly distructive. Maybe, it's a defensive reaction more often than not, to their own hurt created by the offended...I dunno. Just an observation.
Then there are those who do the opinionated thing and don't even know it. It's gently wrapped in concern or advise...advise...oh I'm not touching that one with a clorox wipe. Suggestions also fit into this category and in all reality this is the one form where I don't feel there is an intention to offend present. It is often taken into concern I believe by the receiver. But when there is no desire to change on the receiving end it becomes irritating to say the lease. Shit, state your point and let it go for gawddsakes. The rehash just gives me hives. My mother runs this form of opinionated constantly. But I take it for what it is because of the source. When the source is a loving one, it doesn't feel as horribly opinionated. But, when the source is one with it's own agenda soliciting a desired change of mind or result, it all becomes suspect (for lack of better words).
So with all this what am I saying? I can understand what being opinionated means a lot more than I did when my boss made her generalized comment about my person to my mother. I don't think she is wrong really. I reserve the right to my opinions and options. I respect the right of others to their own. Perhaps a lot more these days than in the past because I can see in others what I was unable to see within myself. But opinions can be a pain in the ass and really I'm gonna try and curb the direction, manner of voicing, reasons for voicing, and overall opinions toward others. It's just better for everyone that way. No offense, no recourse necessary. This might very well mean I will further "shut the fuck up." lmao. But whatever, just another reason to drop fools like dirty toilet paper I think somedays. Shit, to each his own. If this ain't opinionated, I don't know what is. Paradoxes allowed. As my grrrl so elequently put on her myspace page - I don't know shit.
My last conclusion is...
"What people think of me is none of my [fuckin] business." O. Winfrey
No, Oprah didnt say fuckin...I did.
keepitmovin.
