Bronze Age Connection
Ahhhhhhhh Mercury hits retrograde tomorrow! So that means it's been active for 2 weeks now. And yall should know what that means. All electronic equipment failures are abound. So back up ya files, hardrive, and expect the worse. I know I've had my share as of recent.
So I've been in the midst of utter sufferage...yes I'm over exagerating. But my connection to the Matrix is as bronze aged as smelting copper for the modern internet freak like myself.
No there is no cable lines in the stix. No the lines we have don't support DSL, in the stix. No there isn't a tower for 30 miles for wireless, in the stix. The only *ish available is satelite and it's way outta price range at the moment. Bahh.
So I wote a poem to voic my frustrations.
Ode To My Fugggin' Dial UpYOU
stress me out more than my bebe daddi
gawd I wish I could up the anti
high speed fantasy
you are not
cause just when I've got
something to say
click click
riiiiiiiing riiiiiiiiing
NOT
you bitch
more like a limp dick
and damn dont we need some connection viagra
out here in the stix
you prick
oh dial up oh dial up
DLS cable where art thou
please help me relax this tension in my brow
cause all I wanna do
is download download download
but this is the blues
cause oh thy thou dialup your just a load
of manure
fertalizing none
making the internet all work and no fun
dial up dial up
you fuckin bum
And where might I ask is Comcast
to come dig me some cables
dont you understand this land has stables
which means were far outta town
and even the cell phone providers
with no towers are a bunch of clowns
I could do very well with DSL
but we just have archaic telephone poles
dayum no answer at hand
this mind as well be the south pole.
dial up oh dial up
you just shouldn't exist
this reality isn't technically advanced
Im living like gorillas in the mist
I should very well be underwater
with the pressure of the sea
cause dial up sure knows how ta
blow the hell outta me
dial up oh dial up
cant you grow up
oh why so willingly
do you be killing me
please tell me
what the f***k
dial up of dial up
if I had my way
I'd shun you into nonexistance
and be get laced by DIRECTWAY
in order to play
I'd rather get highway robbed
instead of anxiety
as you rob me of my sanity
never going my way
I wait forever and a day
just for the effin page to load.
Oh lawd Im gonna explode.
dial up oh dial up
you keep letting people inturupt me
can I use the phone
oh sure just give me a drink please
cause dial up oh dial up
you drive people to the bottle
cause you move like a snail and not full throttle
dial up dial up you make me so mad
tell me why you suck so bad
dial up or dial up
I just cant take it
wait a second it
I admit
I gotta have somethin
for heaven sake
dial up is purgatory for this
circumstantial
country bumpkin.
dial up oh dial up
you effin crook
I can't take much more today
I think I'll pick up a book!
so all yall with high speed
have some pitty for me
tho this ditty is quite witty
BUT is sucks with no high speed IP
please no mockery.
stabthemodem.
