Balancing Beginings
So, to allow myself some relief I think I'll sit here and punch keys as a temporary relief to the end of quater build up. This is the end of my first 2 quaters back in school, allahuakbar. Before January I had not attended college since '98', a seven year hiatus. I have had to make new aquaintance with policy and procedure, financial aid, professors, student 10 years my junior, and str8 work. I don't think I have been as serious about my pursuit of an artistic education since I began school12 years ago. I do not miss academia, not the usual sciences, history, and english stuff. I am quite thankfull that those are subjects that I do not have to fullfill (Hee Haw - transfer credits). But this has been a deep running challenge. Balancing out my responsibilities as a mother and a provider, school and just as important self. My experience is different. I must create time where there is none. The list of things that need to be managed is so overwhelming more often than not that I'm not really sure how it all gets done. As Afeni Skahur would drill in my head, "baby steps!" Day by day week by week. Gawd I can't wait to breathe over the summer.
But with this here blog as well as my movement into being more social in "realtime" I've been able to hold onto a lil bit of sanity. Like I really have time, more time I've created for that balance. Giving myself a time out to go to my favorite bar and flirt, make a roadtrip with ma seed to the farm to socialize with the family animals (parents included), go on a date, practice my drive and loose all my golf balls, write, go to the shore,etc.,etc. It has been hectic but good for me. My life is so full. Yes, still lacking in some areas more than others but none the less full. And I'm happy with this chaos. For once it's not so bad, me and my aloneness. No space yet space to live my life on my terms. And I don't feel like I'm running on a treadmill. Now I'm on a real track jumping hurdlesand occationally the long jump, like now.
And I try to remember..."There is no spoon."
So while on this topic I want to send crazy love and a supersized CONGRATS to
Santagati(<--click). I've been strung along half of his journey and struggle through law school via his blog and now that part of his journey is complete. Another brother I am thoroughly proud of for not being that stereotype and making his way on his terms. Inspiring.
Anyway I sit here on a time out trying to figure what needs to be done and how I'm gonna make the time to do it in the last lap of this half of the year. Waiting for the lightness of summer break. Fighting to keep my pace and grade where I want them. And all I can think is that if that knucklehead can get through, I sho the hell can. humph.
Inhaling...(yes air Soul)
as I make up for lost time.
okbacktowork.
