Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Bon Anniversaire!
Well yall
today marks one year since Sauti's conception. As I muss through the months past I'm taken back in memories I loose quite easily (cause my memory is *ish). I've looked back on evaporated passion, freedom from the corporate plantation, days with my daughter, meandering self introspection, endless ranting, flashin' on the foolish, but it all started with "revolutionary but gangsta." I guess haloscan wants me to pay 12 duckets to keep the old comments posted...BAH! But yeah let me come full circle with it.
This has been my personal revolution...and I'd like to think my conveyance is type gangsta in comparison with the norm (what ever that is). I started this thing simple too see my thoughts and go back to them as well as to see if I could maintain this thingy for any length of time. Commitment, the word often makes me cringe subconsciously. It was a small test to qualities of myself I have often questioned. Do I have the ability to be consistent? Can I stick with something and endure through it, grow with it, be true to it, regardless? How honest can I be to an audience? How much will or do I censor myself? I have some beginnings of answer to these questions. I have actually surprised myself with my own dedication and consistency. I thought I would have abandoned this thingy a long time ago. But it has manifested as a form of therapy. This blog has been a mode of indirect transference to those of you that visit and keep coming back. Thank all of you for your attention and interaction. Your comments have meant much to me for those of you that have had something to say. You too are heard!.
Yesterday was a rough day. Everything seemed to be all tweek'd outta wack and I was exhausted with so much more work to be done. High, offa coffee, I managed to get through the day and give everything the ammount of attention it needed. But, I stumbled through it as thoughts of 'will I would be able to get through the school ish' weighed heavy on my tired dull migraine mentals. BUT, I got through it with surprising results that left me today with a deep sense of accomplishment, belief in my own endurance and realization that I can commit to what my mind and heart believes. I've always believed that just applied to my mouth or inward thoughts but really it's a fine thread that runs through the many hats I wear such as supa-momma, student, artist, money taker and hue-man being.
So I sit here making time to punch these keys where there is little to squander from. I do this with a great fullness in my heart. I'm str8 livin'. Maybe it's spring that's sprung that I'm seeing and experiencing. But, I do know that my revolution thus far continues. And as long as there is something to be said, my "voice", Sauti will go on.
true2life.
Well yall
today marks one year since Sauti's conception. As I muss through the months past I'm taken back in memories I loose quite easily (cause my memory is *ish). I've looked back on evaporated passion, freedom from the corporate plantation, days with my daughter, meandering self introspection, endless ranting, flashin' on the foolish, but it all started with "revolutionary but gangsta." I guess haloscan wants me to pay 12 duckets to keep the old comments posted...BAH! But yeah let me come full circle with it.
This has been my personal revolution...and I'd like to think my conveyance is type gangsta in comparison with the norm (what ever that is). I started this thing simple too see my thoughts and go back to them as well as to see if I could maintain this thingy for any length of time. Commitment, the word often makes me cringe subconsciously. It was a small test to qualities of myself I have often questioned. Do I have the ability to be consistent? Can I stick with something and endure through it, grow with it, be true to it, regardless? How honest can I be to an audience? How much will or do I censor myself? I have some beginnings of answer to these questions. I have actually surprised myself with my own dedication and consistency. I thought I would have abandoned this thingy a long time ago. But it has manifested as a form of therapy. This blog has been a mode of indirect transference to those of you that visit and keep coming back. Thank all of you for your attention and interaction. Your comments have meant much to me for those of you that have had something to say. You too are heard!.
Yesterday was a rough day. Everything seemed to be all tweek'd outta wack and I was exhausted with so much more work to be done. High, offa coffee, I managed to get through the day and give everything the ammount of attention it needed. But, I stumbled through it as thoughts of 'will I would be able to get through the school ish' weighed heavy on my tired dull migraine mentals. BUT, I got through it with surprising results that left me today with a deep sense of accomplishment, belief in my own endurance and realization that I can commit to what my mind and heart believes. I've always believed that just applied to my mouth or inward thoughts but really it's a fine thread that runs through the many hats I wear such as supa-momma, student, artist, money taker and hue-man being.
So I sit here making time to punch these keys where there is little to squander from. I do this with a great fullness in my heart. I'm str8 livin'. Maybe it's spring that's sprung that I'm seeing and experiencing. But, I do know that my revolution thus far continues. And as long as there is something to be said, my "voice", Sauti will go on.
true2life.
