Seek & You Shall Find

"In the wild struggle for existence, we want to have somthing that endures, and so we fill our minds with rubbish and facts, in the silly hope of keeping our place...

...All influence is immoral - immoral from the scientific point of view. Why? Because to influence a person is to give him one's own soul. He does not think his natural thoughts, or burn with his natural passions. His virtues are not real to him. His sins, if there are such things as sins, are borrowed. He becomes an echo of someone else's music, an actor of a part that has not been written for him. The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for.
A Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde

So while cleaning up my puter I came across this interview with Lauryn Hill after the release of her "Unplugged" joint that my potna Chris sent me some time ago. I revisited it again. Some interesting things up in here.

Listen.
WARNING: it's about 20 minutes



So reflecting without commenting on Ms. Miseducated fever and defensiveness, I really connected with her statements.

Truth. If you read the opening quote you might agree that the truth is an indivuidual experience when discovered in ernest. It is loud and clear, imovable. Until we are able to strip away the expectation of the outside world can we delve into our own truths. If we are lucky we can identify with the truths of one another. Which brings me to one of my favorite quotes.

If you bring forth what is within you,
what is within you will save you.
If you do not bring forth what is within you
what is within you will destroy you.
~Gnostic Scriptures

All to often we get trapped by the worlds agenda for $$$, fame, comfort, politrix etc. We get so loss in the influence and the sences that we forget what is within in all its honesty. As a creator of many things I too get lost in perceptions which are not my own, which are not my truth. But my job as an artist is to fight that and get beyong what people see to release my own visions. What is within is divine. It will not be surpressed, in spite of our selves/spirits. The balance of responsibility is the capper. Responsibility to what outside of yourself, you might ask. The responsibility to the physcial extensions outside of yourself, for example our family and especially our children. All to often the scales tip. You focus on your expression (regardless of what form or career) all to ofter the extensions of yourself suffer. You focus on your responsibility to your extensions of self and your outward moving creativity suffers.At the conclusion of Ms. Miseducated's interview she said these words;

[edited]
"I had to learn to be a mother...when you have a woman who saw ambition...all her life...your children stand neglected. Children are no. 2, no. 3, no. 8...You know what I wanna do this thing right. Please God don't let me mess up these kids."

So I embrace my challenge for balance between myself, my truth, and the future I am responsible for, my seed.

F*ckin A, my ma dukes said this having a child was no joke. Damn she was far from bullsh*ttin'! I think I got this, but I'm always learning to be a mother. I'm always learning to be me.

walkingthetightrope. ¶ >9:43 AM .::.