Thursday, September 16, 2004
So Anxious
It must be the distress of the ocean thats got me all twisted, I don't know.
I look at my alter and all the shells, sands from many places (brought back to me from friends), I look at the salt water, candles and coral, collected. I try to think of the last time I went to the beach. Sometimes I think the ancestors are mad at me for not bringing offerings to the dunes and waves, it's been over a month where as I would do that weekly. I haven't even been to the river to talk to the native spirits. But I look at my altar, saddened by the fact that I've been neglecting it, maybe neglecting my other reality and it's inhabitants. But I am mad at the ocean, she has not been kind. I'm frustrated with sky cause it's stinginess with warm rays and vitamin D beams. I'm sick of the hurricane madness, just makes me more anxious to wave adieu and see my present residence in the rear view mirror. I'm scattered like T-storms over the south east. And I've never missed seasons and snowfall like I do now, though there is much left to be desired bout sleet and freezing rain. I am as frustrated as the atmosphere. And so sick of country twang that I don't know what to do. Transition is amongst us like newly green carded citizens. I feel the agitation in my kindred spirits (friends and family) treading water off the shore waiting for the search party to find us and lure us back to placidity.
I live in another dimension, but I have a summer home in reality.
Damn can a grrl live?
EPILOGUE
So my mother and I have been going to the "catholic" church and making a Novena.
definition
((no.ve.na)) n. Roman Catholic Church
A recitation of prayers and devotions for a special purpose during nine consecutive days.
[We have gone for prayers and leave money for the candles we light in conjunction with our prayers.]
This was the idea of my Jesus lovin' Muslim Momma. For the record my mother and I fast for Ramadan (Muslim new year) and pray together. Even though I have done my interaction with the church as a child, I am not a participator, but I do believe in that divine thread of truth that runs through the Christian church (too). I just have my own rules, and so does Ma Dukes. She was raised in it, as well as spent most of her education (including high school) in a Catholic church.
Anyway, because of realtor developments today, Ma Dukes needed a nap, we missed our Novena today. But after writing this initial post I knew what I needed to do. I cleansed my home and most specifically my bedroom and Altar, lit 2+ new candles, got libations and some small but usual offerings for the ancestors and spirits, and I said my prayers (for me and Ma Dukes). I don't think God/Allah/The Most High will be bothered by the fact that I didn't go to the church to do it. It aint all bout "their" church anywhoo. This is what I've been missing in my shore excursions, messy home, and sun prostrations ala Ankhenton(<--click). I've been missing that communion. I may not completely be religious but I'm imensely spiritual. I have my Divine Thread of Truth that runs through everthing. And lawd I think I have mended that unease somewhat.
I made some of my Curry Lentil Stew w/yams and basmati rice. I haven't been in the lab cooking much lately either.
House smelling wonderful and Iza feels a worlds better.
*smile*
RECOMENDED READING:
Tapping The Power Within ~Iyanla Vanzant (her first book pub. 1992)
Not all the psycho-semantics but more.
Jambalaya ~Louisa Teish
All kinda creole/kemitic goodies
(To name two for today)
NOTE: These aren't Bibles!
FEEL BETTA<--click (stolen from Wang Dang Doodle<---click)
modifyingmyspirit.
It must be the distress of the ocean thats got me all twisted, I don't know.
I look at my alter and all the shells, sands from many places (brought back to me from friends), I look at the salt water, candles and coral, collected. I try to think of the last time I went to the beach. Sometimes I think the ancestors are mad at me for not bringing offerings to the dunes and waves, it's been over a month where as I would do that weekly. I haven't even been to the river to talk to the native spirits. But I look at my altar, saddened by the fact that I've been neglecting it, maybe neglecting my other reality and it's inhabitants. But I am mad at the ocean, she has not been kind. I'm frustrated with sky cause it's stinginess with warm rays and vitamin D beams. I'm sick of the hurricane madness, just makes me more anxious to wave adieu and see my present residence in the rear view mirror. I'm scattered like T-storms over the south east. And I've never missed seasons and snowfall like I do now, though there is much left to be desired bout sleet and freezing rain. I am as frustrated as the atmosphere. And so sick of country twang that I don't know what to do. Transition is amongst us like newly green carded citizens. I feel the agitation in my kindred spirits (friends and family) treading water off the shore waiting for the search party to find us and lure us back to placidity.
I live in another dimension, but I have a summer home in reality.
Damn can a grrl live?
EPILOGUE
So my mother and I have been going to the "catholic" church and making a Novena.
definition
((no.ve.na)) n. Roman Catholic Church
A recitation of prayers and devotions for a special purpose during nine consecutive days.
[We have gone for prayers and leave money for the candles we light in conjunction with our prayers.]
This was the idea of my Jesus lovin' Muslim Momma. For the record my mother and I fast for Ramadan (Muslim new year) and pray together. Even though I have done my interaction with the church as a child, I am not a participator, but I do believe in that divine thread of truth that runs through the Christian church (too). I just have my own rules, and so does Ma Dukes. She was raised in it, as well as spent most of her education (including high school) in a Catholic church.
Anyway, because of realtor developments today, Ma Dukes needed a nap, we missed our Novena today. But after writing this initial post I knew what I needed to do. I cleansed my home and most specifically my bedroom and Altar, lit 2+ new candles, got libations and some small but usual offerings for the ancestors and spirits, and I said my prayers (for me and Ma Dukes). I don't think God/Allah/The Most High will be bothered by the fact that I didn't go to the church to do it. It aint all bout "their" church anywhoo. This is what I've been missing in my shore excursions, messy home, and sun prostrations ala Ankhenton(<--click). I've been missing that communion. I may not completely be religious but I'm imensely spiritual. I have my Divine Thread of Truth that runs through everthing. And lawd I think I have mended that unease somewhat.
I made some of my Curry Lentil Stew w/yams and basmati rice. I haven't been in the lab cooking much lately either.
House smelling wonderful and Iza feels a worlds better.
*smile*
RECOMENDED READING:
Tapping The Power Within ~Iyanla Vanzant (her first book pub. 1992)
Not all the psycho-semantics but more.
Jambalaya ~Louisa Teish
All kinda creole/kemitic goodies
(To name two for today)
NOTE: These aren't Bibles!
FEEL BETTA<--click (stolen from Wang Dang Doodle<---click)
modifyingmyspirit.
