Unseen
It seems to be my destiny to be over looked. It wasn't always that way. Well actually its usually been that way for a large portion of my life. As a kid I felt unacknowledged by my parents. I was the oldest so maybe that has every thing to do with that. In my teen years once I decided I was a loner it changed somewhat. I didn't really care at that point. In my adult years I'm over shadowed by much. Over looked and unacknowledged in my relationships, sometimes in my family, at work, in my artistic fields, by my daughters father, my siblings, most of the people I considered my friends, my biological, fucking generally speaking. The fly on the wall I guess you could call me. So why does it matter to me the fact that I'm so easily unacknowledged and over looked. Maybe because it's credit I'm not given for my time, talents, ear, hard work etc. Should I care to be affirmed by these people? It just reflects that they really don't give a flippin' f*%k I guess. I know within that I don't need affirmation expressed from outside sources. What I should take a look at is where I've invested my time. Who have I given my minutes, hours and days of my life to? Where have I squandered my precious time on others that obviously could careless? But YO! I am a person, no matter how hard I come off. I have feelings too gatdamnit!
Fuck it. Who cares anyway?
"I kick my thoughts alone, get remanded
Born alone, die alone, no crew to keep my crown or throne
I'm deep by sound alone, caved inside in a thousand miles from home..."
~Nas
P.S. Thanks
Omi, Eli, Aaron, Nappy, Ma and Z for seeing me.
carrying/on/strangely
