Monday, April 19, 2004
Wolves in Sheep Clothing...
...and I figured I would have learned at almost 30 the tell tale sight of those that operate under a cloak. It never seems to fail me that I am influenced by those that have less than honorable motives. Why do I get influence, I ask myself? Because I tend to give a f*ck, generally speaking. It is only when I am sh%tted upon that I become cold, cynical and suspicious of the behavior of another. But prior to that, I usually give people a clean slate to chip away or sculpt. I do this believing that people generally have much to offer not only me but themselves in developing and growing as a human being.
BUT NO,
I got it twisted and I think my problem is I give people way more credit than they deserve. Usually to my disappointment and dismay. And see the flip side is that when I do what is necessary to protect myself from these pretentious people, I'm the bitch...WTF.
I recently got a complete picture of events that took place a little less than a year ago. My clouded vision was created because I choose to believe in an individual and become influenced (at my own will mind you I aint pointing fingers) by a counter-productive movement. Now I can see my faults. How I did not value everyone involved as much as this individual for whatever reason. And as it works all the time in the exposure of the wolf wearing the wrong get up for the most foulest reason, who you really are will eventually be revealed. It bothers, hurts and disgust me what transcribed with others was based on this wolf in sheep's clothing. I am regretful of my reaction to some because of being hyped and fueled by an individual that has not had neither my best interest nor the interest of those involved in the forefront. It infuriates me that this process tends to happen at lease once every 1-2 years in a major way. Why, I ask myself? Cause I overlook my standards and am easily influenced by those who are boisterous and appear confident and even if subtly, stroke my ego...whereas I'm seeing that is most often the sheeps clothing they wear that may have just come out of the cleaners to get the blood stains out for future use in frontin'. So as I stew on those that got caught in the cross-fire unfairly so, and contemplate my remorse for the lack of clarity I willfully assumed, and lack of strength of my own character, I am reminded of some very important words to my life given to me by my number one "truth", Ma Dukes. It is called Desiderata. And what strikes me as a sort of repellent to the wolves in a clown suits a.k.a pretentious people (my biggest pet peeve) are these excerpts;
"Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit...
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself...
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery..."
And so I can step back and re-think my own actions and reactions and make peace with them and work on healing a few bit sheep, including myself. And in hindsight I see those of you that have inspired this entry I have figured that for what its worth your aren't wolves stalking your prey with deliberate keeness and calculation.
This is what you really are
a lion whose instincts are to roar and rule
but you too have been conditioned to be pretentious in your costume.
Ha...eye see u!
...and I figured I would have learned at almost 30 the tell tale sight of those that operate under a cloak. It never seems to fail me that I am influenced by those that have less than honorable motives. Why do I get influence, I ask myself? Because I tend to give a f*ck, generally speaking. It is only when I am sh%tted upon that I become cold, cynical and suspicious of the behavior of another. But prior to that, I usually give people a clean slate to chip away or sculpt. I do this believing that people generally have much to offer not only me but themselves in developing and growing as a human being.
BUT NO,
I got it twisted and I think my problem is I give people way more credit than they deserve. Usually to my disappointment and dismay. And see the flip side is that when I do what is necessary to protect myself from these pretentious people, I'm the bitch...WTF.
I recently got a complete picture of events that took place a little less than a year ago. My clouded vision was created because I choose to believe in an individual and become influenced (at my own will mind you I aint pointing fingers) by a counter-productive movement. Now I can see my faults. How I did not value everyone involved as much as this individual for whatever reason. And as it works all the time in the exposure of the wolf wearing the wrong get up for the most foulest reason, who you really are will eventually be revealed. It bothers, hurts and disgust me what transcribed with others was based on this wolf in sheep's clothing. I am regretful of my reaction to some because of being hyped and fueled by an individual that has not had neither my best interest nor the interest of those involved in the forefront. It infuriates me that this process tends to happen at lease once every 1-2 years in a major way. Why, I ask myself? Cause I overlook my standards and am easily influenced by those who are boisterous and appear confident and even if subtly, stroke my ego...whereas I'm seeing that is most often the sheeps clothing they wear that may have just come out of the cleaners to get the blood stains out for future use in frontin'. So as I stew on those that got caught in the cross-fire unfairly so, and contemplate my remorse for the lack of clarity I willfully assumed, and lack of strength of my own character, I am reminded of some very important words to my life given to me by my number one "truth", Ma Dukes. It is called Desiderata. And what strikes me as a sort of repellent to the wolves in a clown suits a.k.a pretentious people (my biggest pet peeve) are these excerpts;
"Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit...
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself...
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery..."
And so I can step back and re-think my own actions and reactions and make peace with them and work on healing a few bit sheep, including myself. And in hindsight I see those of you that have inspired this entry I have figured that for what its worth your aren't wolves stalking your prey with deliberate keeness and calculation.
This is what you really are
a lion whose instincts are to roar and rule
but you too have been conditioned to be pretentious in your costume.
Ha...eye see u!
